Look, up in the sky! Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane?
Yes! And I knocked them both out of the sky with my dick.
Roy Scheider saw my dick and said “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
Then he died of Multiple Myloma
SeaQuest was a good show. My dick loved to watch it.
Quiet down, quiet down! You think this a game? This ain’t a game!
And even if it were my dick would win it!
Would win the Game of Thrones “Where are my dragons?” Right here!
Their names are Pistol Pete, Snoopy, and MY DICK!
Go ahead, Atlas! Shrug!
Just make sure the weight of the world falls right on my dick.
My dick will maintain the balance! My dick will feed the hungry!
My dick will clothe the poor! My dick IS THE LAW!
My dick runs shit here! You just live here!
Nintendo tried to make a game about my dick. It was called Donkey Dong.
It didn’t work because Mario could never save the princess.
No one wants to be saved from my Dick!
So they made a sequel: “Donkey Dong Jr.” It was about your dick!
My dick shot J.R.! Too soon? Not for my dick!
My dick is so important; it’s being handled by top men “Who?” “Top. Men.”
My dick is part of a council that secretly runs the world. Other members?
Warren Buffet’s dick! Mark Zuckerberg’s Dick!
Rupert Murdoch’s dick! Walt Disney’s dead dick!
Oprah’s Dick! Etcetera , etcetera
Blah blah blah Republicans blah blah blah debt ceiling
Blah blah blah fiscal cliff blah blah blah my dick
God had a dick. And his name was Jesus.
Which is exactly what I named my dick.
Until I was circumcised. At the age of 23.
My dick wasn’t afraid! My dick took it like a dick!
Yes! My dick is all of those things. And more.
My dick is so big. Let us have a moment of silence for your vagina.