LIGHTS UP on JAMES. He is sitting at a table. HITMAN stands to his right. He is holding a gun.
HITMAN: It’s been two weeks.
HITMAN: You don’t have the money?
HITMAN: You needed to have that money today.
JAMES: So what you gonna do, then? Huh? You gonna shoot me? Is that it? After all we been through you gonna shoot me? Is that how it gonna be?
HITMAN: James, you owe money! You didn’t pay it!
JAMES: Well then do it then, killer! Shoot me! Shoot me up all in this place! You think I care? I don’t give a fuck! Ya heard?
HITMAN shoots JAMES. JAMES falls and dies. FEMALE HITMAN enters
FEMALE: It took you long enough, man.
HITMAN: Well, I’ve known him for a while.
FEMALE: I understand. Let’s get the car.
HITMAN turns toward the FEMALE HITMAN, turning the gun on her.
HITMAN: Alright, let’s go.
FEMALE: Oh, so you gonna shoot me now?
FEMALE: I see how it is! You wanna be top hitman in the outfit, huh? We been partners for two years and you wanna pull this shit on me? Huh? Well, what you waitin’ for, bitch? Pull that triggah!
HITMAN: I’m not gonna shoot you!
FEMALE: Oh, so now you not gonna shoot me, huh? You little bitch, you such a little bitch, I’m gonna take your little baby bitch nuts and put em’ in my purse, you a bitch unless you skin that mutha fuckin’ smoke wagon and go to fuckin’ town! YOU MORE OF A BITCH THAN A BITCH!
FEMALE HITMAN pulls her gun on the HITMAN, forcing him to shoot her. She dies. WACKY NEIGHBOR enters with an empty cup.
NEIGHBOR: Hey James, It’s me, the wacky neighbor, just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar! Whoa! What’s goin’ on here?
HITMAN turns on NEIGHBOR, with the gun. NEIGHBOR throws the cup on the ground, hard.
NEIGHBOR: Oh…well I asked to borrow a cup of sugar, but maybe I should’ve asked to borrow a cup of asshole instead. So you gonna use that thang or what, pardna?
HITMAN: Would you get the hell out of here?
NEIGHBOR: Oh Hell no you didn’t! I’m the wacky neighbor! So if you gonna shoot me you better have kryptonite bullets, mutha fucka! Shoot that thing, dawg, and see what happens! Huh? Come on! Why don’t you fire that gun, son? I'll eat that bullet RAW, son!
HITMAN shoots the WACKY NEIGHBOR. He dies. MAYOR enters. He is wearing a monocle and a sash that says “Town Mayor.”
MAYOR: I’m the mayor! I heard a noise complaint and came down to investigate! I’m the Mayor and I demand to know what’s going on!
HITMAN turns on the MAYOR. The MAYOR realizes the gun is now pointed at him.
MAYOR: And what you gonna do with that gun? Besides piss me off?
MAYOR: Yeah, my dick is REALLY in ya mouth! So you gonna shoot me, huh? Is that what’s goin’ down? Is that what’s hot in these streets? Huh? WELL SQUEEZE IT THEN! I’m the MAY-AH! You don’t shoot the may-ah unless you got butt-killin’ insurance! I will shove my pocket watch down your throat and my monocle up dat ass! Ya heard? Ya heard? Ya heard?
HITMAN: I’m not gonna shoot you, mayor.
The MAYOR becomes so upset that he brings HITMAN’S gun to his body and pulls the trigger himself. While Slumping to the floor dying, he gives HITMAN the finger. HITMAN observes this for a moment.
HITMAN: My god…this…this is too much. What have I done?
HITMAN turns the gun on himself.
HITMAN: Oh, so now I’m gonna shoot me? Is that the damn deal? Is that how it’s gonna be? Huh? Huh? Huh?